* This guest post by life coach and all-round gorgeous woman, Kate Swoboda from Your Courageous Life is the perfect follow on from yesterday’s post on intention, embracing adventure and BEING in the moment. Enjoy!

Consider this: How often do we start out on a dream and then give up if we run into several challenges or blocks? What would it look like if we weren’t attached to the end result, trusting that the challenges were part of the process? How much kinder would we be to ourselves if we were more invested in BEing our journey rather than “being on” a journey?

There’s a subtle, yet critical, difference between BEing your journey in life and being on a journey, and the difference between the two means everything when you’re trying to make real life changes.

BEing a journey looks like saying that you’re ready for change and holding that truth, without attaching to an idea of what it ‘has to’ look like at the end. You say that you want to run a business, write a book, or forgive your parents? BEing your journey means you stop having a preconceived idea of what that must look like. BEing your journey makes room for every dream you have to look differently than what you had expected.

BEing a journey is having a commitment to walking a path, not walking a path “if and only if it looks okay to me and I get what I want.” BEing a journey is the way of releasing an attachment to results.

BEing a journey creates more space for not giving up when challenges arise, because one can only give up on a task or a goal—we cannot give up on BEing. The emphasis shifts from attainment of some goal at the end—the job, the relationship, the weight loss, the awards, the money—and becomes about the deep process of living that happens along the way. This is about being present and alert to all of the beauty that you might otherwise miss, if you were focused solely on “arriving.”

BEing your journey is perhaps the most courageous and beneficial step you could take in your life.

Perhaps you’re reading this and thinking, “Wait a second. I want to change things. Now you’re suggesting that I let go of any attachment to changing things? Is this some kind of reverse-psychology? What am I going to get out of this?”

Here’s what we get out of choosing to BE a journey rather than focus on an end result, every single time.

* Less tension or anxiety.

* Less worry about “messing it up” (how can you mess it up if you’re willing to BE a journey and trust that the “messing up” could be part of getting you to where you want to be? Every step, every piece, has value when you choose to BE a journey.)

* Less control of others (You no longer need them act/be/say things/think a certain way).

* What you’re hoping to cultivate in usually comes faster and easier.

* When it doesn’t come faster and easier, you often realise later that the slower/harder path taught you a lot more and you’re grateful for it.

* When the thing you were hoping for didn’t come, without a doubt something even better, perhaps even something you wanted more, showed up.

* Freedom – a glorious feeling of freedom to just. be. without. the. inner. critic. tension. (Basically, the “bad days” just don’t feel as bad when you’re not attaching to them as some kind of evidence of being on the wrong path—instead, BEing is accepting that bad days happen, they’re part of BEing a journey, and that’s that).

Most importantly—a willingness to BE a journey has lets you set a goal and stay on the path. You don’t give up on things; you revise. Journeys are about moving along a path, not magically transporting from one point to another in a second. Because you allow that space, you see the evidence of change showing up in your life on a regular basis.

I invite you to start creating your life for yourself.

Create it by making connections with others and sharing your experience. Create it by staying more internal. Create it by deciding how much time you want to put in. Create it by getting a new, clean notebook or create it by chucking the notebook and writing on scarlet-red paper from the art store or by never writing down a thing but just carrying ideas through your day. Create it in a way that works for you, and be willing to BE a journey, to notice what works for you and what doesn’t, and to revise as you go along.

If you step into BEing a journey, you can’t “do it wrong”. Whatever shows up as “wrong” is the gift of noticing where something doesn’t work for you, and choosing a different path.

Kate Swoboda is a Life Coach, speaker and writer who helps clients to lead unconventional and revolutionary lives through practicing courage. She’s the author of The Courageous Living Guide, and creator of the Courageous Play and Create Stillness retreats–as well as The Coaching Blueprint, a resource just for Life Coaches. When she’s not writing, coaching, or leading retreats in Italy and San Francisco, she can be found sipping chai in libraries, buffing up on her Italian, training for her next road race, or getting all bendy-stretchy on the yoga mat.

You can find Kate at www.yourcourageouslife.com.

Ever caught yourself venturing down the path of “all striving, no arriving?” I know I definitely have, and there’s a marked difference in how much I relish achieving something when I haven’t taken the time to appreciate the steps and lessons along the way.

BEing to me means reading a book without reaching over to check Facebook on my phone between chapters. It means fully listening, giving someone my all. It means putting down the camera and soaking in the beauty of a new location first and foremost. It’s starting my day with an intention, meditating, practicing yoga, refraining from filling every moment with must-do’s, celebrating an accomplishments before diving into the next.

What about you? What does “BEing” look like in your life? I’d love to hear your stories, challenges and lessons learned in the comments below.

Image: Verily Mag

This blog post is in support of a new book by Michelle Ward and Jessica Swift called The Declaration of You. It’ll be published by North Light Craft Books in Summer 2013 and gives readers “all the permission they’ve craved to step passionately into their lives, discover how they and their gifts are unique, and uncover what they are meant to do.” I’m thrilled to be participating in the tour alongside a host of other creative bloggers, and you can learn more, read the posts, and join in the fun by clicking here.

My palms are sweating. My breath is quick and short, my concentration laser-focused. The thrum of my heart inside my chest signals that I’m well and truly out of my comfort zone. Shiz is getting real.

Gripping the metal cable to my right, I continue the sharp descent down the side of the cliff on iron rungs, twisting around rocks inelegantly, keeping my eyes glued to the Nike Free’s on my feet and shooing thoughts of the 1000 metre drop below out of my mind.

We’re meant to have harnesses, and no doubt, proper hiking boots. We have neither. Did I mention my pounding heart?

For what seems like an eternity, we weave down and around the side of the mountain, with one of our new friends, the Aussie, up ahead leading the way and the other, a softly spoken Frenchman, behind me, instructing me gently in broken English to put both hands on the cable.

It’s a warm day and I can feel the heat rising up in my body – beads of sweat gathering on my skin, a cocktail of exertion and adrenalin.

We’d only just met our buddies in the cable car up from the valley in Schetlberg to Mürren in the Swiss Alps.

Ramai and I had been mountain biking all day and had our bikes with us in the crowded cable car, and the friendly Aussie (Douggs*) struck up a conversation about the local trails, which soon lead to us quizzing him about base jumping – their intention for the trip up.

The cable car came to a stop in Mürren and the boys set off down the street, which is when – pivotal moment – I decided to ask them if we could come and watch their jump, knowing that seeing them “fly” in the wingsuits would be a pretty spectacular sight.

Of course! Douggs said, we’d love you guys to come, and told us that the trip to the jump spot could be tricky at times** but that we’d be fine.

All in the name of adventure, right?

*****

On our flight from Australia to Europe, I was writing in my journal and turned to Ramai and said “Let’s set some intentions for this trip.”

I scrawled down five, with the first two being Embrace adventure and Truly BE in the moment.

Before we left, life had been abundantly work-centred (along with some generous overtime on the transformation/ growth side of things; there have been some big shifts this year) so I’d been hankering for some good ol’ fashioned fun, adventure and spontaneity. The words had tumbled out of my mouth on numerous occasions…

“I’m so ready for the kind of adventures that make you feel all tingly and alive. Heart-racy stuff. Oh-my-god-that-was-awesome kinda stuff.”

“Life, I’m ready to be thrilled.”

Well. Ask and you shall receive. Never underestimate the power of intention.

*****

WE ALL HAVE THE POWER TO DESIGN OUR LIVES

Goethe said (about making a commitment to move towards a goal) ….“A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”

Coincidences. Synchronicities. Good fortune. Being in the right place at the right time. That’s exactly what happened to us.

Whilst I’d normally lean towards setting clear, specific goals and intentions, I went kinda vague with this one (embrace adventure) but the powerful part was actually feeling in my body the way I’d feel if life was truly thrilling me. I called on times in my life that I’d experienced unbridled joy – really felt the stomach butterflies and the fully-stretched smile that seems to start somewhere deep within. I knew exactly how adventure would rock my spirit (the tingles, the ba-boom of my heart) and although I didn’t know how it would show up, I knew we’d be looked after.***

There’s an internal energy shift that happens the moment you connect with your intention, and that counts as much as the external actions you take.

So what does living with intention actually mean?

It means:

Calling in the kind of transcendent energy required for growth by declaring what you want. Intention = the simple act of determining mentally upon a result and setting in motion the movement toward that desire.

Being an active participant in your life vs. watching on from the sidelines.

Creating on a much grander scale.

Becoming aware of where the energy is at – the pull – and consciously make it the driving force in your life.

Put simply, intention is the starter gun.

Our adventure with our base jumping friends wasn’t the only one we had over our month in Europe, but it certainly takes the cake.

Terrifying, yes, a little bit reckless, uh huh, but also one of the most exhilarating things I’ve ever done and something I’ll carry with me for a lifetime.

It all started with a declaration. 

* Turns out Chris ‘Douggs’ McDougall is one of the most famous and well-respected base jumpers in the world. See also: crazy mofo. There are no coincidences. This story, with these exact characters, was meant to happen all along.

** Hello, understatement of the millennium. The climb back up… gosh, I get nervous just thinking about it. We passed two other rock-climber-looking dudes on the way up and they both looked at our lack of harnesses and let out a soft, low “ooooooh.”

*** Once your intention has been set, it’s all about trust. Have faith that what you want is on its way and keep an eye out for signs. Say yes to opportunities. Be open to the receiving. It might not look how you expect it to but it’s the depth and heart of the experience, not the form it shows up in, that matters.

Exercise YOUR intent

While I’m not exactly a fan of the term “bucket list” (anyone got a nicer-sounding, more potent alternative?) I love the idea behind creating desire lists and boldly declaring the kinds of experiences we want in our lives.

What adventures are you seeking – now or in the future? What are you working on manifesting in your life?

Anything goes so let’s get some goodness flowing in the comments below, and I’d love you to share this post if it tickled your fancy!

This series has come about for two reasons:

One // I’m often asked by coaching clients and you, my readers, for insights into the way I do things – whether that’s running my business, tending to this blog, or moving through overwhelm or self-doubt.

The way us humans are wired (me included) is that we seek. We’re curious. We turn to each other for advice-from-the-trenches as a way of connecting and working the world out. We take the insights into how others do their thang, and why, keep the parts that sing to us, discard the rest and go and do it how we want to do it.

So, with ‘How I Do It’ we’re going to take that reasoning and peek behind the curtain a little to see how a range of inspiring sistas rock their thing.

Two // This feature has been created to celebrate brilliant women who are living their lives, on purpose. I’ll be introducing you to a stellar cast from around the globe, some who will be familiar and some who will (perhaps) be new to you.

You’ll meet soulful coaches, my favourite astrologer, best-selling authors, blogger babe extraordinaires, designers and plenty more entrepreneurial supernovas who are boldly, authentically and joyfully working and living from their zone of genius.

It’s going to be a heap of fun.

And speaking of fun, the first interviewee of the series is someone who undeniably, no question, abso-fricken-lutely epitomises the word.

I first came across Michelle Ward about 18 months ago and knew immediately that I needed to learn more about this effervescent soul who was so lovingly championed by two of my internet faves Alexandra Franzen and Tanya Geisler.

What I found when I scrolled and clicked my way through her site, was not only a vibrant, generous, fun-lovin’ woman on a mission to help creative peeps figure out what they want to be when they grow up, but a woman who’s been through some stuff. You know, some cancer stuff. But does it define her? Oh hell no. 

Meet Michelle Ward, ukelele-playing creative career coach, super-rad human being.

Let’s kick off with a biggie. Why do you do what you do?

Because I’ve been there and done that and it stunk! In my late 20s I finally came to terms with the fact that I didn’t want to be a musical theater performer any longer (which was a 20 year old dream), and I couldn’t find anyone that I felt knew “get it”.

I went to a social worker who I was told worked on career change stuff for artists, but in our second session she told me to get a nose job! It was just such a punch in the gut after a real tumultuous time for me. It took me a while to come to terms with it, but I couldn’t deny that I was super passionate in thinking that I could be the creative career coach that I needed at that time.

What are three of the biggest lessons you’ve learnt since becoming an entrepreneur?

In no particular order:

1 // Don’t be afraid to wave your uniquity flag! It leads to clients/customers you love working with and a biz that energises you.

2 // You’re your own best business advisor. Do your best to stop the “shoulds” and “have tos” and instead listen to your wants and gut/heart instead.

3 // Delegate delegate delegate. I’ve worked with a Virtual Wizard at least 10 hours/week for almost 2 years and it’s changed things for the better. I’m looking at expanding her hours and/or bringing on at least 1 other freelancer so we can all keep focusing on the tasks/work we love.

What’s been key for you in building your tribe online?

When I started When I Grow Up Coach in 2008, I was working full-time as an Executive Assistant – so I was really restricted to whatever I could do promotionally in my cubicle.

I started a blog right away, got on Twitter (and took time to learn how to use it effectively!), and took the first incarnation of Holly Becker’s Blogging Your Way. Because I was so active with those platforms and that class, I made connections right away that directly led to clients and referrals and interview requests. Everything grew from there.

I know that there’s rarely a ‘typical’ day in the life of an entrepreneur/ blogger/ lady of the interwebs, but can you talk a bit about how you approach your work? What does a week in your life usually entail?

You’re right that there’s nothing “typical” about my time – it’s so dependent on the projects I have going on! But in general, I have about 30 client sessions/month plus work on 1-2 projects, as well as writing 1 blog post and newsletter each week and doing other Woman of the World stuff (finances, billing, social media, etc).

Right now we’re at the start of the big online Blog Lovin’ Tour for my book, so there’s lots of calls with Jess (my co-author) and our tour organiser, Abby, as well as lots of interviews to do (like this one!) and guest posts to write.

I’m finally re-adjusting my schedule to how I work best, and that’s in batches. I’ve been coaching Monday – Friday since forever, but starting next month I’ll only be coaching Tuesday -Thursday. I’m excited to have Mondays and Fridays for writing, planning, etc. without having it leak over to client days.

I think this’ll be great for my productivity and, um, sanity! (I’m not a big fan of head explosions).

Routines and rituals for the soul: can you tell us about the little – or big – things that keep you feeling grounded, joyful, connected, inspired?

Oh, sure! The things that pop into my head: the collaborations I’ve had and freelancers I work with (love them all!), Judge Judy (I DVR her every afternoon and watch her first thing every weekday morning!), my man (aw!), my Spotify playlists (movin’ and groovin’), dark chocolate (mmmmm….), meals or calls or visits with friends and family (I’m a big-time extrovert), Mondays with my Mom (she has off and I can take off – win-win!), seeing shows (Broadway, improv, comedy, musicals, concerts, etc), bubble baths (wine + She & Him + good book preferable), playing my uke (you can listen to my songs here), performing and singing (I really miss it), working with my clients (such a high!), making people laugh (no feeling like it!)… I’ll stop myself now :)

You’ve teamed up with Jessica Swift to create a gorgeous new offering, The Declaration of You. Let’s pull back the curtain – how did the book come to form? 

Jess and I met through the Interwebs in 2009 and became quick friends. She became my client, we worked together on a collaborative project, we would email and talk regularly… and in 2010 she read my mind and emailed me to see if I’d wanna work with her on “some sort-of e-workbook… full of brilliant coach-y wisdom and colorful illustrations, and we can have stories and games and printable feel-good artwork and all kinds of good stuff!”

It was the biggest “duh” ever, and we knew we wanted to create a course or book that used silly, fun, creative, colorful exercises to help creative women discover their purpose. Finding what you love didn’t need to be a big-time scary and serious process! It could be full of color and play and laughter, and that was our mission.

Once we decided on the Big Topics we wanted to broach, we shared a Google Doc and gave each other complete permission to write whatever, whenever – and to change anything the other person wrote without it being taken personally. It was a wonderful give-and-take and gave us lots to work with. We make a really great team.

From there, it was obvious that Jess would do our branding and design work, while I’d pick up the writing and tech-y slack on the promotional side. Again, we’d work on drafts of things, run it by the other person, and incorporate comments into the final piece. No hard feelings, ever.

The Declaration of You: How to Uncover It, Own It & Shout It From the Rooftops debuted as an ecourse. We then put the exercises into an ebook for people to download and work through at any time, and ran the ecourse twice more.

By the time we were through, we heard about the abusive relationships they ended up leaving and the passionate projects they decided to start and the ways they began to recognize their own needs, values, and priorities.

And then, in October 2011, Jess got an email from a publisher asking if she’d ever want to write a book. Collaborators first, she responded, “I’d love to, and I have! Here’s the ebook I self-published with my friend.”

Tonia, the acquistions editor, loved it, pitched it, and bought it in January 2012. We’re still pinching ourselves about it!

The not-so-hot days. We all have them. How do you combat overwhelm and self-doubt?

To be honest, I’m all about powering through – so when I feel close to a head explosion or Everyone-Is-Better-Than-Me-itis, I keep my head down and do my work. But it does wonders for me to step away – take a walk, play my uke, go for a run, work at a coffee shop, etc – as does doing a brain dump to get everything out of my head.

I always try to remind myself that everything always gets done – and because of that, I rarely find myself working much past 8 or 9 pm. Having a non-insane quitting time helps a lot!

RAPID FIRE:

I feel empowered, electric, alive, the most ME when… I’m coaching!

I feel restricted when… someone tells me I “can’t” or “shouldn’t.” Blech!

I’m inspired by… watching my clients achieve their passionate career dreams!

My current mantra/ affirmation is… you’re only one person. 

To wrap up, imagine you’re sitting in conversation with yourself in 10 years time. What are you doing? What does your life look – and feel – like?

Ooh, whadda nice daydream! I’m definitely with my husband and a kid, and we’re in a house somewhere close to NYC that has a sunroom I work in, a garage that Luke can make things, etc.

I have a handful of people working for me so that the only things I do are coach, speak, and write. I’ve had another book published and have helped thousands of creative women get out of their soul-sucking jobs and into work that feels like play.

We have a summer home and when I travel to speak or do workshops, my family comes with me. I’m also able to do theater and my husband is able to write comedy full-time. It feels so light and relaxing and invigorating all at once – amazeballs!

Michelle Ward, aka The When I Grow Up Coach, has coached hundreds of creative women to devise the career they think they can’t have – or discover it to begin with. She’s a Professional Certified Coach by the International Coach Federation, a musical theater actress with her BFA from NYU/Tisch, and a Corporate America escapee. Her first book (co-written with artist and designer Jessica Swift), The Declaration of You, will be published by North Light Craft Books this summer.

What do you think of the new series?

Did this interview with Michelle spark something for you? Share below, sweet pea!

****

“Roma is shit. Many, many shit.”

We laugh at the grinning 6ft-something Italian standing before us on the metro platform because his bold declaration sounds like something we ourselves had uttered on Day One of our long-overdue honeymoon.

Except he’s not talking about the city.

The Roma our Italian buddy is talking about is a football club, one who had just been beaten by bitter city rivals Lazio who subsequently took out the Coppa Italia title. This was big news, evidenced by the stream of frenzied Lazio fans in the streets and the animated group of males we’d somehow befriended at the station.

Ramai was in his element, talking sport, squeezing out all the important details, and the guys were loving it just as much.

“Where are you from?” the chattiest of the bunch asked.

“Australia.”

“Oh, Australia. Very lucky. Very beautiful. Rome – is nice to have holiday, but to live, is hard.”

It wasn’t the only time we heard that in Rome. I’m hesitant to make any sweeping statements, but what we picked up on (our opinions) is that this is one deeply complex city – chaotic, tough, interrupted by tourists, yet dependent on them, stylish but old-school… all at the same time. Easy isn’t a word that springs to mind when describing Roma.

But sometimes the richest experiences aren’t the easiest.

****

The ecstatic crowd celebrating in Piazza del Popolo after Lazio’s defeat of Roma. The Polizi hung out in big vans just out of the shot, not looking terribly phased by the fireworks being let off left right and centre and the revellers boozing on. I’d hazard a guess that they were probably loving the vibe as much as we were that night (more on that later). 

****

“Rachel and Ramai MacDonald. Please come to the Terminal 3 service counter. Mr and Mrs MacDonald.”

It’s been a while since I’ve been called for a flight – I spent a couple of years doing the Usain Bolt down corridors in heels and a suit when flying for business with a boss who loved staying at the airport bar for “one more quick drink” – and given we were about 4 hours off departing for Rome, my only explanation was that they were paging us to tell us we were far too awesome to travel in any class but First had forgotten to do something. Or had broken some kind of protocol.

“Mr MacDonald, would you like to go direct to Rome from Singapore? We move you to faster Singapore Airlines flight if you wish.”

Well, actually, we were really looking forward to that 12-hour layover at Heathrow Airport, especially after spending 7 glorious hours here, so we might pass on that one and enjoy some more precious airport time if you don’t mind… said Ramai never. 

“Ahh, yes, that would be BRILLIANT.”

Turning to me, he mouthed B O O M, and as would become our little ritual along the trip when blessing rained upon us, we low-fived behind the counter, squeezed each others hands and grinned as we said softly in unison yaaaaaaay.

Rome, here we come.

****

****

You never know who you’ll meet when you travel.

In the potluck that is an international flight, you could find yourself seated next to a couple jetting north on their honeymoon (like, say, two lovers we know), a businessman making the weary trek back home after a full-schedule of meetings, or a conductor from Sydney who’s been living part-time in Rome for the past 7 years and travelling around the globe on the regular to… conduct.

You know, with the best symphony orchestras on the planet.

(In a moment that can be explained by “34 hours of travel” we totally forgot to grab the name of our buddy in the window seat but a quick Google search tells me he’s Daniel Smith, and he is kind of a conducting superstar).

Anyway, chatty, friendly, and full of local knowledge, Daniel gave us the rundown on Rome (“No-one orders cappuccino’s after 11am, and lattes – no” “Don’t wait to cross the road, just go or you’ll be there forever” “Giolitti for amazing gelato, Dagnino for mind-blowing coffee”). Meanwhile, I buzzed him on his job, because I don’t know about you, but I’ve never met a conductor before. Fascinating stuff.

Daniel’s biggest tip – one that definitely seemed a little extraordinary for a bunch of Aussie’s whose last two overseas trips were to the notoriously-hard-to-get-into U.S. – was that we’d be lucky to get a stamp on our passport when we went through Customs in Rome.

Surely they’re not just going to let us saunter into their fine country, passport unseen, no arrival card, just like that?

“Australia, United Kingdom, Americano – this way” said the Customs officer, ushering us into a line where I expected to be questioned by the man sitting in the booth.

All I got was a quick head nod and a hand signal to keep walking.

Imagine that happening at home.

“Italy’s loose,” Ramai laughed. “I love it.”

****

****

My favourite memories of my childhood are going to stay with my Aunt and Uncle at their property in country Victoria.

My cousin Mark had this incredible illustrated set of Encyclopedia Britannica books that I adored and if I went missing for an hour or two, you’d generally find me tucked away in the loungeroom, feasting my eyes on the history sections (and probably plotting a way to inconspicuously stash the Britannica set in my backpack to take home with me).

For a while there, I had an idea that as well as being a journalist – my forever-dream – I could become an archaeologist too, so you can betcha Rome and Egypt and any other locations with “really old stuff” topped the list for this wannabe-archeologist-journo.

Before we took off for our honeymoon, friends had told us to book some tours (something we’d never done before) so we could get the full experience of Rome’s hotspots like the Colosseum, the Roman Forum, Palatine Hill and The Vatican (Sistine Chapel – we missed St Peter’s Basilica as our tour finished late and we thought it was included).

Good advice friends, good advice. I don’t think we would have gotten nearly as much out of those days of monument cruising if we didn’t.

More photos to come of The Vatican. 

****

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The Pigneto area is described as the ‘Williamsberg (Brooklyn) of Rome.’ No questions there. I’d also say that it’s uncannily similar to The Mission District in San Francisco, the East Village in Manhattan, and has a generous helping of Melbourne’s Fitzroy thrown in for good measure.

So you can probably picture it, right? Urban. Grungey. Graffiti-laden and apparently a haven for creatives and hipsters and non-conformy types. Also home to a melting pot of cultures, with immigrants from Sengal, Bangladesh and China making up a large chunk of the community.

When we arrived at Rome’s Termini (central) station from the airport, we discovered that the buses and trains were on strike for the rest of the afternoon, and given the taxi line was absolutely bonkers, we decided to walk to our hotel. Couldn’t be too far, right?

Ha! Wrong, sleepy, desperate-for-a-shower travellers! 40 minutes, 4 heavy bags – one that was brand new on arrival in Rome and now sports some serious Gutter Wounds – and thsweaty pair finally rolled up to the hotel.

Pigneto, in a very teeny nutshell:

The good 

The hotel was modern, clean, comfy, had a gym, more than did the job.

The fresh market stalls in the street just down below us. The strawberries in Italy… OH MY. And the tomatoes. Wow.

The not-as-good

Ahh, I hate saying this but the reception staff at our hotel had serious ‘tude. Asking a question was mostly met with an exasperated sigh that said “You effing stupid Aussies!”

Pigneto was also a bit out of the action and if we go back, we’ll stay on the other side of town for ease.

* Oh, wait, I forgot something! The best part, and this will sound random but I’m serious, was when we were woken up on the first night but the thunderous sound of what we think was amped-up bongo drums being played on Via Pigneto below (our street was definitely where the party was at, but we were too tired to go join ‘em.)

I’ve never heard a beat like it in my life. Bom-ba-bom-bom-bom! Jungle electric. Someone needs to sign whoever was playing those drums to a record label, pronto. So clever.

****

****

The day we fell in love with Rome.

So I mentioned above that for the first day or so, we thought Rome might not be for us. Let me explain that a bit further.

What I’ve come to realise with travelling – always in hindsight – is that there are a few variables involved when you make a decision on how you feel in your bones about a destination.

These are:

1 // How mentally ‘right’ you are (how healthy you’re feeling, which is usually ‘not very’ after a super long haul flight).

2 // What you’re comparing the place to (another city, your home, that place you fell in love with at first sight).

3 // Your expectations, how you want the place to be, and whether or not the reality matches the story (these expectations are generally formed by what other people have told you about a place you’re seeing for the first time).

4 // The people, and how they compare to the kinda peeps you’re drawn to in your day-to-day life.

5 // Your perspective (are you open or closed? Refer to point one about mindset).

There are more of course, but you get the picture. With most of those in play, I’ll admit it wasn’t love at first sight for us with Rome, but hot damn, did we grow to absolutely adore it after a couple of days. The city didn’t change, but we did (basically, we got some sleep and some exercise. Ha). Importante.

One of the many stellar calls made by Ramai was to take the open-roof hop on and hop off bus around the city to get the ‘lay of the land’ (‘specially as we were staying out of the main bit). In doing that, and seeing both the enormity of the place and how majestic the architecture is, we couldn’t help be swept up in the incredible history and culture of this ancient city.

But wait! Here’s the bit where I wax lyrical on the power of positivity… 

After the bus tour, when we’d gone from ambivalent to AMPED, we caught the metro over to the Spanish Steps (Piazza di Spagna) area which was seriously beautiful. Designer boutiques for those wanting a Gucci coat or Prada bag, and all the goodness of Zara, H & M etc for those will slightly smaller budgets on the shopping strip via del Corso.

We had no idea where to go to dinner in the area, so I popped on my manifestation hat and said “Universe, lead us somewhere amazing. Give us a night to remember.”

A few minutes later, we turned down a random street and saw Ristor Arte Il Margutta. A vegetarian restaurant and art gallery combined? GET US IN THERE, IMMEDIATELY.

I’ll let the photos above do the talking but I have to mention that the service was also spectacular.

(This was the night we found ourselves in the Piazza listening the the Lazio chants and met our friends at the train station).

We went home with our appreciation of Rome cemented, our bellies full bellies and our hearts overflowing.

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Phew! If you’re still reading by now, I’m high fiving you through the airwaves, because that was mammoth.

More photos and stories to come, but before that, I’d love you to leave me a comment to tell me what you think. Have you been to Rome/ Italy? Planning on going? Any burning questions you’d love answered? Can’t wait to hear from you.

This is part of a series of brilliant guest posts that will be appearing on the blog while I’m in Italy. Let’s roll out the welcome mat for Kate - leave your thoughts/ questions in the comments below. I’ll be checking back in, but in the meantime, enjoy!

In my experience, scary medical situations seem to strip back all the noise making it easy to evaluate your life. Have you ever been there?

All of a sudden your To Do list doesn’t matter, the fight you had last week with your sister doesn’t matter, being the one who’s right in that bullshit argument with your honey doesn’t matter, and that big report for your 9to5 , the one you’ve been sweating over all week, definitely doesn’t matter.

When this happened to me recently, a medical emergency involving my forever guy made what mattered snap back into view. I immediately saw that health, love, family, community, and learning made my top 10 of important things.  There was something else that I realised mattered big time: Doing my work.

And by work I’m talking the stuff I’m meant to be doing big picture.  You know, the reason you’re here type business. The damn-that’s-huge ‘gut goal’ that scares you in that good takes-your-breath-away-with-the-thrill-of-it way when you dare imagine doing it for real. Stepping into that thing you already know – if you listen – is calling your name. I’m talking that work.

Maybe these things happen differently for everyone, but for me it was like there’d been something kinda fuzzy there for a while, a muted background noise, and all of a sudden with life stripped bare I’d instantly re-mastered this knowing in high def and turned the volume right up.  It became a symphony of knowing too hard to ignore.

In my experience when the chips are down, epiphanies are easy. The hard work comes a few days later when the delicious sharp clarity is gone, that higher purpose shiz has lost it’s shine, and there’s a brand new ep of the New Girl singing it’s siren song. Following through is hard. And harder still the day after. It’s much easier to NOT get down to business, isn’t it?

It’s boring and sucky, and there’s probably way more poetic ways to say this, but when it comes to those big you-KNOW-that’s-what-you’re-meant-to-be-doing gut goals, sticking with it is the real secret to success.

I’m learning not to judge these gut-goals/soul-desires/whatever you wanna call them, no matter how crazy/big/small/inconvenient they seem. Like Steve Jobs famously said (and I’m paraphrasing here) a lot of the time shit only makes sense when you’re checking out the twists and turns of your life from the rearview mirror. Sometimes you’ve just gotta go with it and trust that the right stuff will unfold.

I knew I wanted to help kick ass creative trailblazing women bring their entrepreneurial dreams to life. Maybe in these moments your gut tells you to be a surf lifesaver, open a tango studio, become a health coach, or a mother. Maybe it’s telling you to reconnect with your passion for camping or immediately travel to Egypt or pen the historical romance novel you’ve been dreaming of or grow your own veggies. They all sound pretty great to me!

I definitely don’t have all the answers, but I have conquered some mighty scaring-the-shit-outta-me-when-I-set-them long term goals, and I’ve learnt a little. And so whatever your dream, here’s 3 tips that’ll help you sustain your epiphany,  stick with that sucker and bring it to life:

Investing in yourself

This is the fastest way I know to get wherever you wanna go. DIY can be heaps of fun and bootstrapping will probably work, but your soul desire’s worth investing in. Anytime I’ve invested in me – whether through coaching, body work, classes, or professional services – and especially when I’ve invested so much it feels like shivery butterflys are being sick in my belly, I’ve received huge value and propelled forward way faster than I’d expected.

 Connecting with you power posse

I overheard an African saying the other day: If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.  Beautiful, right? Do everything you can to engage with likeminded woman and build lasting, authentic, supportive, generous relationships with them.  Once you’ve got peeps in your corner ease flows better. Accountability, tough love, bear hugs, Friday night mocktails = there’s nothing like being supported by likeminded babes.

 Start (again and again and again)

This is the easiest and trickiest one of the lot. If you want to get anywhere, everyday, all you’ve gotta do it start where you left off. Again and again.

I believe that doing the work we’re meant to do doesn’t mean it won’t be hard or scary at times. Big picture, difficulty and fear aren’t important (notice how they weren’t in the list I mentioned at the beginning). Doing your work IS important. Surround yourself with the right support, ask for help and invest where you need to, and most important start.

So now you know my ‘gut goal’, I’d love you to declare yours!

In the comments below share a personal goal you’re working towards (or dreaming of working towards) and one thing you do that helps you stay focused on achieving it.

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Hey there, I’m Kate, a business strategist, coach, and blogger. I’m the creator of Betty Means Business – an online space totally dedicated to helping women with business yearnings become the kickass creative entrepreneurial trailblazers they’re meant to be.

This year I’ve set myself a big personal creative challenge: Can I set up and grow a successful business in only 2 hours or less a day?  Visit Betty Means Business to find out, check out my FREE eBook Kill Overwhelm + Make Shit Happen, and then come say hey to me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I’d love to connect!

Image: Alexander Shahmiri