Yesterday I felt it creep back. That old familiar feeling.
Too much.
Too much to do. Too much squeezed into too little time. Too much, too much, too much.
After the fullness of last year, my intention coming into this one was to feel expansive and aligned, and with that intent came the knowledge, that to feel that way, I’d have to buck up, breath in and let go of some old ways of being. It was time, and I was excited about dismantling things a little – going back to the blueprint and considering whether the architecture I was building around me could support me and my vision moving forward.
Letting it go. What a powerful, beautiful – and sometimes scary – concept.
The complete opposite of letting go, to me, is clinging. Clutching, grabbing, over-doing it. Burrowing myself so deeply ‘in’ that I become convinced that if I just do these five more big things (just them! That’s it!) then I’ll be free. Except, there will always be more.
I’ve spent plenty of time hanging out in the (dis)comfort zone of crazy in this lifetime, so as 2014 dawned – with all its promise and magic and high vibin,’ let’s do things differently energy – I declared to myself (and anyone who would listen) that I was ready for a more supportive way.
My measure of success this year will be this: how well did I truly LIVE?
At once so pure in its simplicity, and in other ways, an enormous feat, this passionate declaration – to me – means:
Trading friction for freedom.
Replacing desperation with devotion – to my dreams, and what it takes to make them happen. To produce work that makes me proud as punch without having to hurry it along or ‘push’ it out. To stay the course… as long as the course feels right.
It also means that in stressed out moments when I fall out of flow, say yes before pausing, or forget my heart’s desires, I remember that I can always steer myself back home with gratitude. Thank you for the opportunity to deepen my commitment to this goal of mine.
I want to feel spacious over spreading myself too thin.
I want to feel focused over frazzled.
I want to have the courage to not fill up my white space with more. To sit with not-much-at-all sometimes and know that that is absolutely enough.
Yesterday, when I found myself in a pool of Too Much, it was several deep breaths, a decluttering of my schedule – reshuffling commitments with love (guilt-free!) – and a few timely universal reminders that helped bring me back to centre.
I flipped open my day planner and here’s what I was greeted with:
Your heart says: I want to do less.
And your head says: Then, you’ll get less.
Your body says: I want more ease.
And your head says: You better work harder.
And:
The cosmos doesn’t measure sweat and hours for reward. The cosmos deals in the currencies of joy and satisfaction.
Whoa. I was meant to read that. Thank you Danielle.
I then leant over and pulled all four decks of oracle cards sitting by my altar towards me and took one card from each, craving more of that sweet cosmic comfort that could be delivered in a flash.
Focused intention.
Be happy now.
Remember who you are.
Trust.
Okay Life. I get it. I really do.
+++
Life will continue to hurl lessons our way until we transcend, or make peace with them. Acceptance. Without doubt – there’s always another skin that can be a shed, a limiting belief that can be tucked away in a box marked ‘Old Stuff’ or a deeply-embedded story from long ago that we can dissolve with a spot of active awareness.
Yesterday was a poignant, not-so-gentle reminder for me to do just that. To lift up the lid and peer beneath to see what else I could let go of. And what I found was a misguided belief that if I didn’t keep forging forward – riding the wave of momentum and endlessly working my way towards ‘something’ – then somehow my life wouldn’t be as ‘rewarding’ or ‘exciting’ or ‘meaningful.’
Let me say this right here: I’m SO ready to burn that belief to a crisp and to instead, allow myself to soar (which is actually my word for the year). Because to SOAR means to rise or fly high with ease. Yep. That’s more like it.
Buddha famously said:
“In the end, these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?”
And while we may not get this letting go thing right every time, when we do, we’re always better for it.
Right here, right now, I propose we LET GO, together. Let’s pull some antiquated stories out of those heavy backpacks we’ve been carrying around, like, forever, and set ’em free for good.
Riddle me this, my gorgeous partner-in-releasing-that-which-no-longer-serves:
What are you ready to let go of?
This post is part of the Let it Go Project: a collection of stories leading up to a beautiful releasing ritual, hosted by Sas Petherick on the 30th of January. Join us and be inspired by the other posts in this project over here.
Flower image: Petra Bindel
Wow Rach! YES! This is so up for me lately. I too have been pulling cards about letting go and releasing outworn behaviors and thoughts that limit my potential. I’m really working towards letting go of self-doubt, lack of creative focus, and the ultimate – dare I say it out loud – unworthiness….ugh. Ready to burn it all in a funeral pyre! Thanks for this post and for being yet another reminder that it’s time to release anything that blocks my highest vision. xoxo!
“Ready to burn it all in a funeral pyre” could be my new favourite saying… ever.
What a gorgeous comment, I can FEEL you and your intent in it. And I’ve gotta tell you lovely – that declaration has given me another ZINGING boost this morning. Thank you for that, and thank you for declaring what you’re severing ties with. Magic. xo
Oh MY you are a gifted writer. I’m speechless. What a beautiful post. Seriously. Divine timing. Yeah. Speechless haha. Can I just say ditto to what you said ? :D xo
You are divine. Ditto, ditto, ditto. I have a feeling this ‘too much’-ness could be something we ca ALL can relate to in some way or another. Thank you for being.. YOU. x
Thanks Rachel,
This is divine timing for me. I just launched my website yesterday and I am still carrying this belief that I can’t reveal my newfound insights/discoveries because all of my friends and family are not really aware of the transformations I have been through and they don’t actually “get me” anymore. I’m so ready to let go of the fear and just be me! Thanks for the inspiration (today and many days prior). X
Lisa, this is such a common feeling – a lot of my blog coaching clients come up against it. Just keep aligning with YOUR truth, and know that when you’re embracing all of you and showing up in the world authentically, that energy will be felt by those you love and beamed back at you.
Plus, you might be surprised with who else has been ‘secretly’ undergoing the same transformations. You sharing could liberate them too. Keep shining! x
OMG Rachel – I just got off a call with my coach on this exact topic and the first article I looked at on my screen was this. YES, YES, YES to everything you wrote!! xxx
Haha, love synchronicity xo
THIS: “I want to have the courage to not fill up my white space with more.”
Beautiful Rach.
I have come head-to-head recently with accusations (from others yes, but mostly myself), that ‘I’m not doing enough’ and ‘I should be working harder’ and wowweeee those thoughts are E X H A U S T I N G and completely uninspiring.
I too want to have the courage to embrace my white space and give myself permission to sink into the void of deep, generous space… Rather than the depths of doing and getting and ticking off and completing and achieving…
Thank you for your beautiful words and thoughtful insights. You make my days better x
And what exactly is ‘enough?’ – I ask (myself, the collective everyone, the Universe). A moving target for sure!
On the flip side, the void of deep, generous space sounds like a pretty spectacular place to be. Enjoy your time there, my love. xo
Oh babe!
This is beautiful :)
You are. xo
Beautiful post Rach. Thank you for being so honest. xx For me, this year has already taken a dramatic side-step with a rather traumatic event that has left me shaken up. But I just said yesterday to my husband that I can see that I’m being pushed in a different direction as a result and I’m open to the journey I need to take. So I guess I’m going to work to let go of the awful-ness of it all, in my own time. And in that letting go, let in the new lessons I’m meant to learn.
Your courage blows me away (always). You just keep opening up… and up… and up. Wow. xo
Um Rach. Holy screeching glow stick toting aardvarks…. are you a mindreader?? (not just mine but perhaps everyone else who has commented here). That post leapt out so much. You are such a blessing Rach honestly, a daily reminder that there are such gorgeous souls in existence here. Mine is releasing that need that doing more (mindlessly or mindfully) and exhausting all engines is the only way to overcome any challenge and obstacle. Not good for my andrenals at all. Not good for my relationships esp when I postpone time with dearly beloveds. Not much fun as a person as a whole. Thank you so much again beautiful Rach!
Um, girlfriend, you need to trademark this immediately: ‘Holy screeching glow stick toting aardvarks.’ I’m laughing and simultaneously fist pumping at this right now! Hilarious!
Thank you for sharing so beautifully. Scaling back to what truly matters seems to be a bit of a theme, and I, for one, am thrilled we’re collectively saying ‘No more.’ Let’s stay true, give those precious adrenals some lovin’ – shall we? x
Ha! Ann Marie I completely second Rach’s reaction. ‘Holy screeching glow stick toting aardvarks’ just made my day. Thank you!
And Rach. Bravo. Your writing continues to blossom so beautifully every day.
Rach – just purely following your lead on this releasing practice. Go you!!! Such a fan of your work!
Celeste Mitchell – you’re one to talk!!! i just checked out your site (the terms wordslinger caught my eye!!!) WOW loving your portfolio. Just subscribed!!! :)
Well, thank you so much Ann Marie! I hope I can be as inspiring as your witty turn of phrase. I also hope to be able to use the word aardvark in a sentence very soon. xx
Wow – synchronicity indeed! Overwhelm, that old chestnut. She’s been creeping up on me too these last few weeks – a steamy signal to the self-imposed pressure pot I’ve been cooking for myself. I posted a blog along a similar vein of thought today and announced I’m on a technology detox (of the phone sort) for myself over the next week. Seems like my website is in cahoots with my phone ’cause it’s decided to go offline today too. Not exactly the intended outcome!
It’s almost a welcome relief when you finally accept that the ‘too much, too much’ state of living is seeping into your real-world relationships, and bring yourself back into focus. After all, the relationships and the real-world experiences are what we’re really here for.
xx
YES YES YES. Real world, face-to-face, present connection all the way. x
Love this Rach – and the words of your gorgeous readers – its such a false premise isn’t it? That we have to work our tits off to deserve joy. We’ve got it the wrong way round!
Rest and our bodies will be energiser bunnies. Allow ease and we feel more creative. Be joyful and work will feel like play.
Beautiful!
Thanks for taking part lovely.
Sas xxx
Sas you know how much I love “It’s such a false premise isn’t it? That we have to work our tits off to deserve joy. We’ve got it the wrong way round!”
So much win, right there. x
I love the words (and alliteration) you chose to describe the feelings you want to let go of and what you want to feel – they hit it spot on!
Glad to hear it! x
You beautiful thing – every word I read resonated with me and in doing so gave me a big, cuddle soaked permission slip for ‘letting go’ of my ‘busyness’ obsession. Don’t know if you’re familiar but Authentic Success by Robert Holden BLEW my freakin’ mind and he teaches us to evaluate what it really means to live a ‘successful’ life. Keep doing yo’ thing girl – you’re incredible x
I’ll add that to the reading list, lady. Thank you x
Yep, diving timing at it’s finest! Hit home with me BIG time. I just breathed a long-awaited sigh of relief. Beautiful as always, Rach x
Aaaaaand, AHH. Deep exhale. The best. x
What beautiful words, and ‘Oh How I Needed To Hear Them!’ Thank you! I’m right in the middle of letting go too… Letting go of my (money) security blanket and all I have on the other side is trust!! I’m still a little freaked, but with reminders like this, I’m closer to feeling free.
Stay in that abundance mindset by focusing on the ‘best possible outcome, please!’ Put that order in to the Universe, and hold tight with that trust.
And ask: “What is my WORST case scenario?” Know that you’re a resourceful chicka, and you have the goods to always work it out. x
Mmmmm. Yes. Been musing on my goals + intentions for this year too.
For me it’s about the power of today. To truly live a day well…. That’s my intention. And I am SO ready to let go of this idea that I *can’t* display my contradictions…. I am a contradiction! Or perhaps….a divine paradox? Sounds sexier. Love your writing, Rach!
Divine paradox… OOH, love that one.
Loving the synchronicity right now! Thank you so much for this post Rachel. I was starting to feel the “Too Much” Monster today. I have been really in the flow the last couple of weeks, and then all of sudden, it was like “Whoa!”, there are too many things and too little time! Thankfully, I had the awareness to put this to a halt before it got outta hand. I reminded myself with kindness and love, to come back to my intentions, focus on that and not to spread myself too thinly. I was jumping ahead and trying to do everything – this workshop, and that retreat, then maybe this course… I really had to catch that part of myself that is fanatical about self-improvement and come back home to what’s me. And funnily enough, I kept pulling the same card last week – Remember Who You Are – and just wasn’t getting it until I read your post tonight Rachel, and then the penny dropped. I need to trust my own creative expression and let go of the need for approval and let go of the fear of judgement from others. Thank you for the confirmation! Love & Light, Jade xo
Jade, thank you for your beautiful share here. Life is just a continual ‘coming home’ isn’t it? Swinging out a little bit too far, and then steering it back again. And again. Love your insights. x
I let go of my need to “have it all worked out” or better said, “I am willing to let go of my need to have it all worked out.” Because I tend to let things go and then pick them back up again, so I am starting with being willing. Thank you Rach!
XO
Maggie
Brilliant Maggie! Allowing for mystery and magic. :) x
I love everything about all that you say here, just wish I could say it so eloquently myself ;)
You can!
Beautiful post Rach! I think you’ve struck a chord with so many of us. This was perfect for me today too. Thank you for sharing your gorgeous self x
Much love to you Christina. My gosh you are such a tender-hearted woman. I always feel ‘warm’ when I see you/ speak to you. You just radiate the good stuff. x
Fabulous post, yes decluttering ones life is the same as doing a room, looks fresh, organised and a place you want to be! I did the funeral pyre on my deck one night. Old writings from a not so great time in my life, full moon, earthenware pot on the deck, took all that negative energy in those journals and sent them skyward smoking! It felt fabulous! Life is there yo be lived with happiness, no bitter old regrets allowed! X
This is so wonderful – a ritual that we can (and dare I utter the ‘s’ word, probably should) all give a go sometime. Thanks for sharing Reebo!
Rachel, perfect and divine timing. I hit a spot yesterday also. I am currently writing and working on a Tonic Alchemy book and my ego popped up saying “You’re not getting enough done today, you’ve been taking a little bit too much time on yourself and not focusing on this and you’ve GOT to get moving, people are waiting for it.” Yikes! I did some soul searching and sent Mr. Ego/old beliefs/thoughts to the corner while I got clear on several things. Simplicity has been the word I have been seeing in my mind’s eye for several weeks not. I then reaffirmed my intentions out loud (to my dogs – they were the only ones around at the time) and my heart and Soul sang to me. Yes! I had clarification and your words only affirm and cement what I knew is was true in my heart. It was a great lesson. I am sharing this article on my “Thoughtful Thursday” this week. Kibby’s Blended Life.com Everyone will LOVE it! I know I did. Thanks again, dear! I enjoy your work and keep simplifying and shining bright. XO
‘Nobody puts Mr Ego in the corner.’ Oh yes they do – you do!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, and for sharing this with your tribe. So appreciated Kibby, and may life continue to be ‘simplified’ for you. x
Oh this is magic Rach – just beautiful.
Its funny how the words Let it go came to me earlier in the year – and they are my guiding words, along with Courage… because in all that we let go we need to the courage to do so. I know that there are many ideas I have that I simply need to let go of.
I have started the year letting go of anger/ hurt and resentment that I had been carrying around since my relationship breakdown. I have let go the expectation that my body can do everything. I am having the courage to let go of the barriers that I put up.
Such divine timing with this xxxx
You are rocking it Jane. Keep shining. x
Oh gurlfriend, I literally just read that part of DESIRE MAP yesterday!
Just what I needed tooo!
I’m letting go of the picture of what my life should look like.
Opening myself up to a whole lotta the unknown!!!
… and may you be blown away in the most powerful of ways by what shows up as a result of that intention. I know you’re going to SHINE BIG this year, love. x
Beautiful Rach!
I am ready to let go of my definition of success: the harder I work and the busier I am = the more successful i’ll be. Calling my self out “BS”. Ease and flow that’s now my new definition for success.
This allows me to feel:
+ Bliss
+ Infinite patience
+ Light
+ Joy
Happy days gorgeous girl.
Love,
Amber
Perfect. Ease and flow all the way Amber (and I adore Infinite Patience). Phwoar. x
all lovely but one correction…the Buddha did not famously say “In the end, these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?” the wonderful Jack Kornfield did. xoxo
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An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment.
I believe that you ought to publish more about this topic, it
may not be a taboo subject but usually people don’t speak
about these subjects. To the next! Many thanks!!