“A pause is a suspension of activity, a time of temporary disengagement when we are no longer moving toward any goal… we stop asking, “What do I do next?”
When we pause, we don’t know what will happen next. But by disrupting our habitual behaviours, we open to the possibility of new and creative ways of responding to our wants and fears.” ~ Tara Brach
Following on from my post yesterday, I thought I’d talk a little bit about how to counteract a life of constant stimulation by learning to just ‘be.’
For the past few decades, the frentic pace of life has been increasing at a frightening pace. Gone are the days where we made plans on our home phones and left messages on answering machines or (shock horror) pieces of paper. There was no texting, no logging on to Facebook and Twitter at every opportunity, no apps or email access on our phones back then. We were freer and less ‘on.’ People were busy, but it was a different kind of busy. Fast-forward to now and we’re living the kind of reality where panic seizes us with its vice-like grip when we’re disconnected or inaccessible, and the notion of sitting quietly for an extended period of time without seeking external validation scares the absolute pants off us.
Put simply, we’re addicted. Addicted to overthinking, constant chatter and endless doing. And the exhausting part is that all this consumption has left us addicted to the adrenaline rush of pressure-driven results (which are, of course, expected to be achieved faster than ever). We think that the more we engage, the more we’ll get ahead – when more often than not, it works the other way around.
For me, when I sit close to my heart and really listen to what I need when I’m over-stimulated and trying to massacre my to-do list, there’s this booming voice that tells me in no uncertain terms that I need to create spaciousness. Make room, drag the junk out, dust around the edges.
So here’s how to do just that – 15 ways that you can set limits and bring balance back into your life by just ‘being.’
1. Sit still. Find a comfortable place, turn of your phone and close your eyes. Invite peace in by imagining your heartbeat slowing down, and things in your life moving slowly. Visualise yourself speaking slowly, walking with more deliberate steps, observing things going on around you. Really sink into your vision, and next time life gets a little too hectic, draw on that feeling of tranquility.
2. Get outside. Immerse yourself in nature. Lie under a tree, dip your toes in the water, take in sounds and smells. Contemplate this beautiful quote: “The mind I love must have wild places, a tangled orchard where dark damsons drop in the heavy grass, an overgrown little wood, the chance of a snake, a pool that nobody’s fathomed the depth of … and paths threaded with little flowers” ~ K. Mansfield
3. Spend time alone. Without distraction, we start to return to the parts of ourselves that are most familiar. Take some time out from other people’s moods, demands or agendas.
4. Create spaciousness: As I mentioned above, when I’m in the midst of what is essentially “frenzied” behaviour online (clicking from link to link, tabbing between pages, getting nothing done, losing myself in the messages I’m taking in rather than processing everything sloooowly), I crave spaciousness. I imagine a vaccuum coming and sucking out all the thoughts from my mind, giving me the ability to look at the big things – the things that matter – rather than get bogged down by the trivial stuff. Find a way to create spaciousness that works for you.
5. Meditate. I’m one of those people that used to think I sucked at meditation/ stilling my mind because I could never erase my thoughts, but once I accepted that trying to think of ‘nothing’ wasn’t really the objective (rather, it’s about slowing down to find moments of clarity) I started to enjoy it a lot more. If, like me, halfway through a meditation you start thinking about what’s for dinner that night, just acknowledge the thought and get back in the zone. I’m a visual person so I like to create a bit of a story in my mind which might work for you too – I imagine myself putting the negative stuff (balls of black stuff) into a box and tying it up with a ribbon, while imagining a light travelling from my head down, washing over me. Might be a bit woo-woo for some but it totally works for me, and I’m up for anything that makes me feel good!
6. Give yoga or pilates a go. Or any form of stretching. Don’t rush the stretches, or push your body too hard. Just ease into it gently, breathing and releasing any tensions.
7. Treat yourself to a massage, facial, sauna or spa treatment.
8. Go for a walk. No ipod, no phone, no watch. Just you and nature. Brilliant ideas are born on walks. Give them the opportunity to come alive.
9. Take a bath. Pure, unadulterated bliss. Fill it with bubbles, light a candle, play relaxing music softly in the background. Unfurl.
10. Stay in bed – all day and with a good book. Lose yourself in an inspiring story and nap at random intervals throughout the day. Restoration and rejuvenation.
11. Swim in the ocean. There’s something so incredibly cleansing about salt water. In summer, my favourite thing to do is go for a run or long walk in the morning, then jump in the ocean, just floating as the waves rise and fall. Best feeling ever!
12. Take mini-breaks throughout the day. Set your alarm to go off every 50 minutes and take a 10 minute break. Get up from your computer, walk around the office/ neighbourhood. I’m so guilty of spending hours on end in front of the computer without a break so definitely need to implement this one more often!
13. Switch off. Completely. Take one full day on the weekend where you don’t touch your phone/ computer/ iPad/ TV. Kick digital fatigue to the curb.
14. Play. Watch a child playing and let them show you how to really ‘let go.’ It always amazes me how free children are when they’re playing, and how fully engaged they are. They’re not hurtling down a slide at the park thinking about that email they forgot to reply to, or wondering how many Facebook friends they have. They’re present, silly, loose – not uptight and overwhelmed. Try playing for yourself – chase your dog around the park or chase your partner around the house (ha!). Let your hair down!
15. Take your lunch break. It’s called a lunch break because it’s meant to be just that – a break from work for lunch. Use that time to recharge your batteries. Lower your shoulders, breathe out and chill, baby, chill!
Most of us struggle with being still and think of it as something we only do when we’re on holidays away from the demands of our regular life. Make today the day that you tip the balance back in favour of a relaxed state of being. After all, rejuvenating shouldn’t just be a luxury we afford ourselves once a year, it’s a necessity for our happiness, bringing with it gifts of contentment, healing and a whole lot of shiny inspiration.
+ What do you do to slow down and simply be?
Images: 1. Inspired by this feeling 2. Late Afternoon
6 – 11 also 13 are what I like to do to disconnect. I remember before my blog I used to switch my phone off and be completely uncontactable. I cant imagine doing that now. but maybe I should start doing it again. it was very liberating.
Thanks for commenting Liss! I know, it’s crazy that even when we have the desire to totally disconnect, we know that it will drive other people nuts so we don’t. Amazing how much we let other people (or work) dictate our happiness sometimes!! xx
Best article yet Rach! I’m having one of those days where I need sometime to snap me out the craziness, and I just found it. So true about lunch breaks too, the more you can get away from your desk the better I say!
I hope you are heeding your own advice there miss busy-bee!! xxxx
Gooooood Morning! : ) After yesterday’s ‘Making Me Happy’ blog, I decided to dust off my flat week & get back up on my happy horse! I dug out one of my favourite books when I got home from work – Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain – and went straight to the Meditation & Affirmation chapter. I used to do alot of them religiously, but the mind wanders & things crop up & it’s so easy to put ‘Me Time’ at the bottom of the ‘To Do’ list, so far down that it’s in the fine print. But there were 2 that stood out for me & I slipped on my No Doubt album (not your typical meditation music but the lyrics help me to switch off) My favourite meditation is ‘Creating your Sanctuary’, I love this because it’s like interior design for the mind – I can put whatever I want in it & then surround it with a love shield where no negative energy can enter. The bottom line is to retain the qualities of peacefulness, tranquility, and a feeling of absolute safety. The 2nd meditation is great if you are conscious of time, or something to do before you close your eyes at the end of a busy day, it’s called the ‘Pink Bubble Technique’. Imagine something that you would like to manifest & picture it as clearly as possible in your mind. Then surround your fantasy in a pink bubble (pink is associated with the colour of the heart) Then let the bubble go & imagine it floating off to the Universe. I love this as it allows you to emotionally let go of what you want, and simply know there is nothing more you need to do.
As always, thank for you lovely blog Rach. It should be added to the ‘What every woman needs’ list! Enjoy Sydney & have a blast! Much love, Jenn x
I’m so happy to hear this Jenn – both those meditations sound incredible, love how visual they both are! Good on your for taking action to improve your mood… sounds like it’s working! Big hugs xxx
Great post! I completely agree with everything you said and know that I really need to do that as often as I can too! Good luck with your rejuvenation.
Thanks a million Katherine, it’s funny how we know these things and just sort of brush them aside because we’re too busy (how ironic!) to give them a second thought. So important to take the time to actually recognise that the simplest cures are often the most effective! Thank you so much for stopping by xxx
this has made me want to go out and book a massage right now!
i never give myself enough time to just ‘be’ minus all the distractions!
my boyfriend and I often play games like yahtzee or card games to unwind and switch are minds off!
This was just the post I needed to see,infact i might print it out and stick it on our fridge, thanks for sharing!!
xx
Thank you for your lovely comment Ashley! A massage would definitely hit the spot right now, I totally agree! xx
This is a really beautiful article – you write so nicely I can just about feel myself slipping into a meditative state reading! I’m so glad this article popped up at the bottom of your most recent post :)