pregnancy – Rachel MacDonald

Pregnancy Series: The Third Trimester

20 August, 2015

rachhat

If the first trimester was characterised by the sweetness of the secret and that first heart-altering scan, and the second, super-human energy, then the third most certainly has been about feeling all the feelings.

On more than one occasion, the thought of watching my man cradle our tiny person in his arms has had me dusting a stream of tears from my cheeks.

A soaring tune on my iPod can open the floodgates, and I all but lose it over sentimental Facebook videos and blog posts that should come with a Definitely Not Suitable for Pregnant Women warning.

Surprisingly, I’ve been awash with a feeling of CALM READINESS for most of my pregnancy, but then there’ll be a day where an anxious thought will slip in the back door, and suddenly I’m worried about something 5 years down the track…. that will definitely never happen.

Trimester Three has had a definite marshmallow heart flavour, but it’s not just a ‘softening’ I’ve noticed. There’s a fierceness, a wild protectiveness, that’s also made itself at home in my bones.

In the way life so often dishes up ‘trial runs’ or ‘like experiences’, I feel like I’ve been called to step up AND sink deeper across the board — from my business to my relationships to life in general.

Which is to say, there’s been plenty of growing. Inwardly, outwardly, spiritually, emotionally.

A new evolution is drawing ever closer, so before that happens, let’s take a look at what I’ve been pondering / exploring over the past three or so months, shall we?

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30weeks

{30 weeks, away in Byron on a mini baby-moon}

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RRrecline

{39 weeks; before two becomes three}

prints

{Prints of the above, and also, a sneaky look at some of the last-minute maternity pics I did with Jo from The Luminous Kitchen who made me feel like a mama-goddess — on my due date.}

PREPARING FOR BIRTH.

It’s a funny thing, visualising the birth of your baby. SO MANY unknowns. Such a radically different and unique experience.

I’ve been slowly preparing for The Big Day for the entire duration of my pregnancy, but below are some things I’ve done to get ready in the third trimester:

1. Zenning out to HypnoBirthing meditations nightly. Adore Melissa Spilsted’s Surge of the Sea — Relaxation for Childbirth and Affirmations for Beautiful Birthing (on the same download)

2. Also really loving Naomi Goodlet’s Meditations for Pregnancy and Birth.

3. Holding acupressure points and rubbing diluted clary sage oil on my feet and belly (note: suitable for those overdue / in labour).

4. Crafting a ‘Birth Bible’ — essentially a Moleskine journal in which I’ve been recording my favourite affirmations and reminders, relevant information from baby books, notes for Ramai, and other bits and pieces that we may or may not use throughout the labour.

“Every surge of my body brings me closer to my baby.”

“I relax and let my body lead. I trust in its wisdom to do what its designed to do.”

“I feel confident, I feel safe, I feel secure.”

(etc).

5. As always, movement. Walking. Bike riding, beach-cruiser style. Limbering up ;) I’ve noticed that in the final weeks, I’ve felt slightly more spacious in my body (as the baby has dropped) and I’ve certainly been making the most of it.

THOUGHTS ON BUSINESS AND BABIES.

A while back a friend and I were deep in conversation about motherhood and identity, and she said something that’s stayed with me ever since, which was:

“Becoming a mother changed my perspective on certain things, the way anything big does… but I’m still me, you know?”

Gosh, I loved hearing that.

As I face down mamahood, I’m welcoming the ways in which I’ll be altered, transformed and stretched beyond my current reality, but at the core of it all, and just like my beautiful friend — I know I’ll still be me.

Hopeful, determined, over-thinkin’, creative. A prone-to-restlessness, growth-seeker who loves to ‘work it out’ vs. be told what to do (yes, my inner petulant teen needs to be tamed sometimes).

ALSO: writer, mentor, entrepreneur — lit up by purposeful contribution and creation. One who adores an end goal but REALLY comes alive in the process.

That woman I describe now will still exist, and I can say with conviction that thanks to the plethora of women in my life who are both nurturing their children AND their creative spirits via their online businesses, I no longer believe something I once did:

You must choose one or the other — work or family.

My more empowered, modern day belief is that our interpretation and expectations of how it all WORKS and LOOKS might need to shapeshift, but we can hold space for these many varied energies and desires that sizzle and swirl inside us.

This is a (big) topic and one I can’t wait to dig into it further as I imperfectly plod my way through the experience of growing a little tribe alongside a business, but for now, I’m going to lean on this quote by Cheryl Strayed:

quotecherylstrayed

Thank you Cheryl, you beautiful badass, you.

THE NOT-SO-PLEASANT STUFF.

I’m not one to dwell too hard on the negatives, but it wouldn’t be right for me to share the utter beauty of this journey without touching on some of the less-wonderful aspects. (I’ll preface this by saying there’s no doubt most of these pertain to the ‘superficial’ BUT they do give an insight into the complete experience).

// Swelling and fluid retention.

Face/ feet/ ankles/ fingers/ calves; the feet especially when sitting at a right angle at the computer for stretches of time. Once I approached 39 weeks, things seemed to shift on this front (in fact, my weight has gone slightly backwards at my last 3 obstetrician appointments) but I’m not going to lie — there have been times where the swelling has been NOT GOOD. I thoroughly look forward to the return of my ankles and regular face once I’m not pregnant (ha!)

// Sinusitis.

This one has been a real bugger for at least half my pregnancy. Blowing my nose constantly throughout the day, mega-congestion at night, keeping my man up with weird choking sounds in the middle of the night — being perpetually blocked is no joke!

I’ve had acupuncture, taken supplements, sprayed saline sprays relentlessly and… nadda, unfortunately. Keeping the faith that this will dissolve after the baby arrives.

// Heartburn.

Having never experienced heartburn before, I actually had no idea what the horrific icy-burning feeling was in the top of my chest until I consulted Dr Google. Thankfully this only showed up in the third trimester and seems to have disappeared now, but I can say for sure that eating too much in one sitting, along with chocolate, ginger and (unfortunately, as I craved it) orange juice, were major triggers for me. Boo.

// Iron deficiency.

Ramai and I are away on a ‘babymoon’ in Byron Bay, it’s the middle of the day and he’s talking to me and I say meekly ‘I think I need to close my eyes for a minute.’ Hello, exhaustion — where did you come from?

Turns out where that all-encompassing tiredness came from was a pretty severe iron deficiency (discovered after a blood test) but once I consciously started supplementing with a strong iron pill and upped my red meat intake, everything went back to normal pretty quickly.

* I’m mentioning this one as I’d originally put it down to ‘third trimester tiredness.’ If you’re pregnant and feeling completely zonked, it’s well worth getting your levels checked.

// Hormonal skin.

It’s hard to say ‘I’ve always had clear skin’ without feeling a bit ridiculous, so please forgive me, but after having a rash-like inflammation around my chin for almost my entire pregnancy, let me say with great compassion that my heart goes out to anyone suffering from long-term skin problems.

Try as you might, when you’re having ‘one of those days,’ angry skin staring back at you in the mirror has the tendency to leave you feeling more than a little disheartened, particularly when you’ve tried every freaking remedy under the sun to no avail.

It’s not quite eczema, but it’s not acne either, it’s only around my chin and sides of my mouth, and I’ve applied plenty of self-acceptance BUT it’s also okay to say these things suck.

On the flipside, the rest of the skin on my face has remained in check with a combo of:

1. Facials from Lauren at Raw Beauty as mentioned in the trimester two post.

2. Mukti Organic products — aka, THE BEST damn skincare products out. I’ve been using:

Marigold Hydrating Creme;

Hydrating Cleansing Lotion;

Rose Blossom Hydrating Mist Toner

And have fallen totally in love with these luscious products.

HANGING IN LIMBO-LAND.

Or, where I find myself currently.

For me, this period of time following my estimated due date has been (a) tinged with a bizarre sense of ‘Am I still pregnant?’ (I very clearly am) and (b) has acted as a kind of emotional classroom in which I’m served a brand new lesson daily.

Over the past 6 days, I’ve felt frustrated, disconnected, totally at peace, rational, irrational, accepting, excited, grateful… you name it. I’ve also come face to face with expectations and attachments to The Way Things Should Unfold that I had no idea I even had. (illuminating to say the least).

What I have loved, however, about these in between days, is the reminder about the impermanence of our feelings — if only we ALLOW them to roll through us instead of stuffing them away.

Sometimes, it’s taken less than a minute to shift from irritated to wildly appreciative. Admittedly, other days I’ve needed a good old cry or a tight squeeze from Ramai to catapult my head out out of small thinking and back towards the Big Picture.

Moral of the story: TRUST is the opposite of control. Here’s to trusting all is as it’s meant to be, and remembering what this is all about: the gorgeous baby boy we’ll be locking eyes with in no time at all.

A FINAL NOTE.

Reading other women’s pregnancy adventures (and yep, maybe stalking an Instagram profile or two) has personally brought me a lot of joy, insight and a sense of connection along the way, so regardless of whether you’re pregnant right now, wanting to be, or not interested in having children at all, I hope you’ve enjoyed this snapshot into the past 9 or so months of my life. It’s been a beautiful experience writing and sharing it with you, and I thank you for all your support and love thus far.

If you haven’t yet, click below to recap:

// Trimester One

// Trimester Two

As ever, your comments expand these posts in the best possible way, so get busy below. And if you’re feeling generous, feel free to hit those little share buttons below to spread the love far and wide. xo

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Pregnancy Series: The Second Trimester

10 August, 2015

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Today, I’m thrilled to be sharing some of the highlights and points to note from weeks 13 to 27 of my pregnancy.

Before we do that though, if you haven’t read the first post in this series yet, head right over here to get caught up: The First Trimester.

Second trimester notables.

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{23 weeks | 26 weeks}

SUPER HUMAN ENERGY.

If I could have bottled the get-up-and-go from my second trimester, I’d be making paper planes out of $100 bills and sailing the Med in my super yacht by now. HOLY MAMA.

All I can say is thank goodness it arrived by the truckload, as these middle months were some of the biggest of my life, especially when it came to my business.

To scratch the surface, the second trimester saw me:

// Jointly running our biggest B-School partner program ever, including a private Facebook Group, weekly Q & A’s, comprehensive emails AND a two-day live event in Sydney.

// Coaching more one-on-one clients than ever before in preparation for some time out of the coaching saddle while we embrace the early days of parenthood.

// Restructuring my entire Bright-Eyed & Blog-Hearted program and Member Portal, including adding a bunch of new content, writing a sizeable free eBook and…

// Preparing to launch — an incredibly exciting launch that saw just shy of 400 wonderful new souls join the now 1100-women strong BE & BH community.

You can probably deduce there were plenty of highs, and despite being stretched to maximum capacity with long hours at the computer and deadlines a-plenty, it all felt wonderfully manageable. I felt more intensely focused than I had in years — purpose-FULL, productive, lit up. I was discerning on how and where I spent my time. The energy was potent, and I rode it with glee.

But, as is the nature of life, heartbreakingly there was also an unforgettable low that unfolded during this time as well — the passing of my dear friend Jess Ainscough in February.

The emotion I felt at that time is still difficult to wrap words around, so I’m not going to dive too deeply into it here, but it goes without saying that this time of my life and this period of my pregnancy was tinged with great sadness. I felt waves of anger, fire, frustration. Numbness, and possibly a touch of delusion (‘She’s not really gone.’)

Missing her beautiful smile, today and always. #blessedbyjess

BODY MOVIN.’

I’ll preface this by saying given I’m not a qualified professional when it comes to movement, I encourage you to find someone who is if you have specific questions. Trust the cues your body WILL undoubtedly give you, and know that pregnancy is not the time for ‘amping up’… it’s for tuning in.

Personally, I’ve used exercise for health, to keep my energy elevated and to maintain my fitness levels somewhat so that getting back in the swing of things once I’m given the all clear post-birth won’t be too difficult.

As someone who is used to moving regularly and sweating it up, tapering right off has been a (mental) shift for me, but I’m pleased to say I’ve found plenty of joy in the slowness. Meandering, meditative beach walks where I chat to my little guy and rub my belly have been the absolute highlight.

So how exactly have I moved my body since being pregnant, you ask?

For me, it’s been all about:

// Daily walks.

// Twice weekly gym sessions for 30-ish minutes a pop; a combo of elliptical training and lunging, squatting, and chest-pressing with dumbbells.

// In the first trimester, regular yoga. A big break in the second (hello, workload). In the third, pre-natal yoga.

// Occasional running up until month five, until my body told me it just didn’t feel like running anymore.

What I’m looking forward to after baby:

// Running. Ahh, endorphins!

// Yoga and Pilates barre.

// Ab exercises. How I’ve missed you!

// HYPOXI (The ultimate. More to come on this one).

Something worth noting when it comes to exercise is the presence of that clever little hormone relaxin (designed to soften and widen the cervix, whilst relaxing ligaments in your pelvis) means you’re definitely more prone to over-stretching in pregnancy.

Case in point: I went for a swim (of all things) and ended up with a whole lot of tailbone and pelvis pain after frog-kicking my legs out to the side whilst doing breast stroke. The result was me walking like a cowboy for a week — plus, I had to have THREE deep tissue massages to fix it.

Trust me when I say: go gently, friend. Your magnificent body is working hard!

FLUTTERS AND KICKS.

Hands down one of my favourite parts of being pregnant; a sacred, ‘just between us’ experience that I know I’m going to feel nostalgic about once our babe is earth-side.

I’ll never forget the very first flutter at 18 weeks — accurately described to me as ‘like popcorn popping in your belly’ — and not long after, those sweet tickles advanced to rolls and wriggles, strong kicks and what I liked to imagine were excited little fist pumps. ;)

From the second trimester on, our break dancer / football player has done his best work when I’m lying in bed at night (walking around during the day can rock them to sleep), and I’ve seriously revelled in every movement… yep, even those painful jabs in the ribcage in the third trimester.

I believe they call that MAMA LOVE. Always present, even when it’s not pleasant.

CHOOSING OUR CARE PROVIDER.

My husband and I have private health cover, so when we were deciding where to birth, it made sense to go with the private hospital situated 10 minutes down the road from us — which also happens to be one of the most reputable in Australia, particularly for maternity.

Going with this option instead of using a private midwife in a public hospital (which I would have done if we hadn’t been paying for cover for the past couple of years) meant the next step was to make the all-important decision: Which obstetrician do we go with?

Being supremely conscious of energy and resonance when it comes to anyone playing significant role in my life, this process wasn’t something I took lightly and I’d say I grappled with / avoided making the choice for, oh, about a week. Maybe two.

I called friends to ask about their experiences, I did research of my own — but in the end, I went with gut feel above all else and have had no regrets with my decision.

Our first meeting with our OB was at 16 weeks, and because I’ve (gratefully) had a trouble-free, ‘textbook’ pregnancy, the monthly (then fortnightly, then weekly) appointments have been pretty uneventful affairs.

To give you an idea of what to expect if this is up ahead for you, my appointments involve:

// Checking my blood pressure and weight.

// Listening to the baby’s heartbeat or seeing him on the ultrasound to check where he’s positioned and how he’s developing.

// Ask any burning questions, and;

// Getting results of blood tests that have been taken along the way (and for me, getting the Anti-D injections I mentioned in my last post).

My husband joined me for the first couple, but after that I told him not to bother as after hanging out in the waiting room forever, I’m usually in and out of the actual appointments in under 10 minutes.

MIND-BODY-SPIRIT SUPPORT.

A few other key people in my ‘Pregnancy Support Crew’ have been:

Tanya Goldie: Naturopath — before getting pregnant, and throughout.

Before getting pregnant, we focused on getting my body ready for baby with things such as liver and adrenal support, folate and building up my Vitamin D and B stores (I was incredibly deficient).

During — and on various rotations — I’ve supplemented with iron, magnesium, calcium, iodine, B6, zinc, Vit D, folate and fish oil.

Whether you’re planning or have already fallen pregnant, I can’t speak highly enough about consulting with a naturopath to see how to best support you and your baby on this miraculous and often, wildly taxing journey.

Lauren Dawson from Raw Beauty: Facials

I melt. There’s just so much… care.

Lauren is a total sweetheart who has most certainly found her calling — her passion is palpable, not to mention her skill — and her natural products never fail to leave my hormonal skin aglow.

Anita Crosbie: Kinesiology

Anita has been my go-to kinesy maven for a few years now, and over the course of my pregnancy, I’ve loved popping in to see her every now and then for an energetic spruce up and balance.

Tabitha from Studio Qi: Acupuncture

I’ve only recently — as in, from 38 weeks — started getting acupuncture and BOY do I wish I’d gone sooner.

I see Tabitha for sinus congestion, something that’s plagued me for over a third of my pregnancy, and also, because I’m slightly addicted to the deep relaxation that comes when I’m propped on the massage table with needles expertly placed on my body.

OUT. OF. THIS. WORLD.

CRAVINGS AND AVERSIONS.

GONE in the second trimester!

GETTING EDUCATED.

There are a range of options available to expecting parents when it comes to education, and the way I’ve approached it is from a few different angles — attending a full-day intensive ante-natal class run by one of the midwives at the hospital, reading up and listening to audios on hypnobirthing and Calm Birth / gentle birthing techniques, and also, watching videos online of natural births.

Was actually watching the births confronting at first? Certainly (especially BEING PREGNANT, which adds a hefty dose of reality to the experience). Above and beyond that, though, knowledge is power and awareness is EMPOWERING, and whilst we can never ‘plan’ a birth, I’ve found comfort and confidence in witnessing the various ways it could unfold.

That might not be for everyone, but for me, it’s worked.

19 WEEK SCAN: IT’S A BOY!

My Mum, Ramai and I are staring up at the beautiful, bouncy being on the screen in front of us and the sonographer asks: ‘Would you like to know the sex?’

YES, PLEASE, I say excitedly… knowing in my heart already.

She wriggles the device around on top of my belly again, and BAM! There we go. An ‘underneath shot’ — I’ll let your imagination piece that together — and cackles of laughter from us all as she declares with certainty:

‘Well, there’s no doubt about it, guys. That’s your son you’re looking at. Congratulations.’

Our cheeky little Leo boy, already making us giggle with his antics.

COMFORT AND NURTURING.

From extra cuddles with my man, to baths with essential oils and Epsom salts, to wearing materials that feel beautiful against my skin (I bought the best comfy / plushy robe and have thoroughly enjoyed sashaying around the house in it) — the need to be nurtured was strong in tri 2. And has continued to be.

A couple of essentials and best purchases:

// The BellyBean maternity pillow for sleeping. Once my belly started to grow, this gave me the support I needed to sleep on my side without having my stomach uncomfortably positioned on the bed. In the third trimester, I’ve added a regular sized pillow to between my legs, positioned vertically, to help keep my hips aligned as I was getting some pelvic and sciatic pain. Getting in and out of bed — as you do often in the middle of the night for bathroom visits — has become a PROCESS, to say the least.

// I can’t speak highly enough about the Lululemon fold-over-waist tights for exercise. (I’ve never folded, I just pull the waist up). No elastic digging in as your belly expands = total winner.

// I’ve worn my Nike Free runners or Havaiana thongs (flip flops) for pretty much my entire pregnancy — mostly because my feet haven’t fit comfortably into anything else for a while! I’ll call this ‘Benefit of working from home #134’… and also the benefit of living in sunny Queensland. Take that, puffy feet!

// Comfy underwear. Maternity bras or sporty crops that mould to your body, knickers that look good but more importantly FEEL good. When it comes to pregnancy, the dental floss-style G’s are probably not going to be your number one choice… or perhaps they will be, you racy little kitten, you.

Again, I hope you’ve enjoyed this snapshot of my journey towards motherhood. Looking forward to tying everything together with a bow with the third trimester post!

Two more things ::

1. I adored reading and answering your comments last time — thank you. Pregnancy is a time where every DAY feels laden with questions and ‘newness’, so I want to say to you: if you’ve got q’s, don’t be afraid to ask away. I’d love to offer up any insights I can.

2. Here’s the link again for the first post if you missed it :: Pregnancy Series: The First Trimester

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Pregnancy Series: The First Trimester

3 August, 2015

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Mid-last year I had a vivid, symbolic dream in which I was standing in the middle of a highway that stretched into the horizon, and when I looked down, in my arms was a baby boy.

The details of that dream stayed with me in a way so few do — so real I can still transport myself there in an instant. A little soul was circling. That I could feel, just as I could feel the subtle shifts occurring within in me, opening up new possibilities and considerations and energies I’d dabbled with previously but never fully embraced.

Something was coming.

Fast forward several months…

And there were a series of signs and messages, delivered in quick succession.

Alex sent me an email out of the blue saying ‘I know you’re not supposed to ask these things, but do you have a little miracle growing in your belly?’

The same day, I went to a kundalini yoga class with Tara and the meditation for the evening centred on the divine mother, which felt meaningful and significant to acknowledge in the way that things do when your wisest self whispers ‘There’s something in this, you know.’

Beyond the external nudges, I was also acutely aware that I was a couple of days late to start my cycle and there was a feeling that was bubbling inside me that sat somewhere between hope and holy shit…

Retreating to the bathroom, Ramai in the next room tapping away on the computer, I’d just taken the all-important pee-on-a-stick test — the one with ‘No other test tells your sooner!’ emblazoned across the front — and I found myself willing those little lines to darken. And darken they did.

P O S I T I V E.

Oh my goodness, I yelled around the corner.

I think we’re having a baby.

I. Think. We. Are. Having. A. Baby. I’d just said those words, for real.

I looked up and there he was in front of me, pulling me closer, time grinding to a halt for a moment as emotion electrified the air between us. Shock! Joy! Disbelief! Elation! Argh!

Ever the certainty-seekers, we decided that we couldn’t fully believe this was happening until I went to the doctors for a second test, and luck on our side, the receptionist on the other end of the call said ‘We have an appointment… but it’s in 5 minutes. Can you get here?’

You better believe it, I thought as I legged it to the car.

A moment I’ll never forget.

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I was sitting in the waiting room when my phone beeped with a text from Tara. Timing, my love.

In a millisecond, I’d shot back with where I was and what I was doing.

‘What the?… wait… doctor down the road? I’m next door at the post office. I’m coming.’

Not moments later, there she was. Swirling rainbow harem pants. A curtain of blonde hair. Her eyes as wide as saucers as she walked slow-mo towards me, sat down on the seat beside mine and leaned forward.

Babe, she whispered. It was a surreal passage of time where this gorgeous friend of mine seemed to journey right into the depths of my soul and pluck out every thought and emotion I was experiencing, weaving them into something exquisitely pure to reflect back at me.

We hugged and our shoulders shook; sweet tears flowing between a pair of soul sisters who didn’t need a doctor’s test to confirm that a baby was on its way,

We both knew. That little, circling soul had found a home.

Baby MacDonald was headed earth-side.

Are you ever really ready?

I was asked this question not long ago, and want to attempt to answer it here with the caveat that obviously everything I’m sharing is coloured by my own experience, and may vastly differ for you. There’s, of course, no right or wrong answer here.

For me, there was a noticeable, deep maternal yearning and sense of readiness that took up residence in my heart sometime last year.

Ramai and I had always hoped that children would be part of our love story in this lifetime, but we had no definites around when that would, or even could, happen. Nearly all our friends have one or more children, but it still felt like an out there priority for us at that stage; one of many tangled in with (more) travel, business launches, saving to buy a house and so on.

But then, all that shifted.

I found myself talking regularly about when we’d have kids, and this ‘down the track’ dream started to have a year, and even months attached to it.

Instead of looking at other people’s babies with a beaming — but detached — smile, saying ‘What a cutie’ to whoever was with me, I started to feel an unmistakable internal tug. There was a new dialogue unfolding; my body and soul in conversation.

I want to have a baby, I thought.

Hang on, I’d catch myself, I want a baby?

And yep, in there perched amongst flashes of fear and questions of what will happen then?, I found in myself a desire to become a mama that I simply could not deny.

I was as ‘ready’ as I was ever going to be,

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The first trimester notables.

I’m going to do a big ol’ gear (and mood) switch because I want to sum up key elements of my first trimester, and it’s easiest to do that in short form.

Honestly, it feels like there’s so much to share, which I’ll do over subsequent posts, but for now ::

WHAT I CRAVED.

Citrus anything. Crushed ice with fresh lemon juice (praise the preg-gods for our Vitamix-slash-”healthy slushie maker” is all I can say). Also, orange juice. In fact, any juice. We bought a new cold pressed juicer early on, an Oscar Neo, and it’s been the best thing ever.

Carbs. Pasta! Bread! Gimme! I remember one day I saw a recipe in the back of a magazine for a homemade herbed macaroni cheese, and I had to make it. I had absolutely no choice in the matter — all of a sudden, I was at the checkout going ‘But, I’m not even THAT into pasta?’ And like many things I ate in that first trimester, the thought of the meal was at least 57 times more exciting than eating the meal itself. *Sigh.*

Beef burgers. Actually, to make a sweeping generalisation here, ‘boy foods’ on the whole took my fancy (hello cheese and anything savoury).

MY AVERSIONS.

Vegetables. Oh gosh, this one was hard to swallow (literally) — and is actually very common. It was a total brain-bender that the mere thought of my beloved broccoli was enough to make me dry retch.

Logic would say: ‘But I’m growing a spine and a brain — shouldn’t I be craving veggies like MAD right now?’

But, tastebuds would say no. Nooooo.

(Cooking with) coconut oil. The combo of super-sonic pregnant powers of smell and my vegetarian husband cooking kale, broccoli and brussel sprouts in coconut oil was enough to have me covering my head with a pillow and yelling from the bedroom PLEASE STOPPPP! It was comical, believe me, and I was over the moon the day I realised I’d come out the other side of that pesky little vege-and-coco-hating phase. Hallelujah!

SHARING THE NEWS WITH FAMILY (AND BESTIES).

I couldn’t dial my loved ones soon enough after leaving the doctors, and to hear your elation in the jubilant, cracking voices of your nearest and dearest is BEYOND everything.

Recalling my Mum crying ‘That is the best news I’ve ever heard’ on the other end of the phone still makes me misty-eyed.

FULL BODY TIREDNESS, AND FEELING ‘HUNGOVER.’

I can’t really remember the last time I ‘slept in’ — the standard seven and a half to eight hours sleep has always served me beautifully — and I’m not an afternoon napper (the reason being on the very rare occasion I do drift off, I pay for it with being up most of the night).

So, with that in mind, you could say the full body tiredness of particular days in the first trimester knocked me sideways a touch.

I was blessed not to experience morning sickness in the vomiting sense, and truly feel for the poor expectant mamas that do, but I did get to taste the half-to-full day nausea and I’ll liken the feeling to an uncomfortable hangover because:

// You crave heavy/ grounding foods (aka carbs) to settle your stomach.

// You’re not sure whether you want to be asleep or awake. Agitation levels = HIGH.

// You start willing yourself to just throw up dammit so you can release the feeling of discomfort.

// Plus, your energy tends to slip right down the drain, and fast.

Thankfully it was close to Christmas as this was all happening for me so I was winding things down business-wise anyway, and one of the benefits of running your own show is being able to set up with a laptop in bed when absolutely necessary. Hurrah.

The change: At nine weeks, I was thrilled to wake up feeling like my energy had returned with a vengeance. I’d love to say I never felt nauseous again, but unfortunately, pregnancy is steeped in unpredictability so there have definitely been bouts here and there, but significantly less so as the journey has progressed. Double hurrah.

RESEARCHING / GOOGLING…

… And learning pretty quickly that pregnancy forums aren’t my cup of tea. And that’s okay.

While forums can be useful for a quick answer occasionally, you often have to trawl through the muck to get there, so when in doubt, I highly recommend directing your questions to a small handful of people whose opinion you trust, including, of course, your primary care provider.

In addition to this, my favourite pregnancy-related books and resources are:

Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful by Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa

Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May

The Bump baby app (The Bump app was the first one I came across, but there are a heap of different ones out there)

* More to come on the recommendation front.

I HOPE YOU’RE OKAY WITH NEEDLES?

Because you certainly get acquainted with them in pregnancy!

I’ve unfortunately never been able to give blood as we lived in the U.K in the 80’s (mad cow disease) and was told by my parents that I was an O positive blood type… but, turns out I’m actually A negative, which has meant a couple of additional injections of Anti-D throughout my pregnancy for these reasons.

(you’ll also have blood tests for the Down’s Syndrome screening, to test glucose and iron levels, and anything else required along the way.)

BLOATED, BUT NOT SHOWING.

I couldn’t wait to have a bump, but it didn’t noticeably appear until around 22 weeks-ish.

What happens before that is The Bloat. The cocktail of hormones coursing through your body when you’re pregnant slows your digestion amongst many other things, and you can carry this bloated feeling well into your second trimester, which happened for me.

* Here’s probably a good place to mention that I’ve massaged oil (either coconut or jojoba) into my belly and breasts most days throughout my pregnancy and haven’t experienced any stretch marks.

While the jury’s out on whether stretch marks can be ‘prevented,’ I’m all for adding any nurturing rituals that connect you to your body and baby into the mix, purely because they help release a flood of feel-good hormones. I usually have a little chat to our lion cub as my hands swirl (from the bottom of my belly, up towards my heart), and sometimes ask my husband if he can take over instead, which is divine and allows him to ‘connect in’ too.

THE JOY OF THE SECRET.

There’s something incredibly special about having a secret that just an intimate group of friends and family are privy to, and despite the fact that by about 10 weeks we’d started to get more and more ‘lax’ with keeping that secret, I got a serious kick out of the moments where someone would ask when we were planning to start a family.

‘Oh soon, for sure’ was my usual blase response, with a sneaky sideways glance to whoever was positioned near me and in the know, but on the inside, I was chuckling / bellowing ‘Moowahaha, actually there’s a BABY GROWING IN MY BELLY RIGHT NOW!’

The day we did finally share the news publicly after our 12 week scan was one of the most wildly exciting days of my life. The outpouring of love still blows my mind.

Speaking of…

THE FIRST SCAN: 12 WEEKS.

Unforgettable. Magical. Tear-inducing.

And also: bladder buckling.

In the hour before the ultrasound, you’re required to down a bottle of water without going to the bathroom — which sounds like no big deal, but at that stage of the pregnancy where you could pee every five seconds, actually is — and as Ramai and I sat nervously in the waiting room hand-in-hand, I decided I’d ‘be a good girl’ and drink another almost-full bottle.

Please note: this was a mistake.

A trainee was in with our sonographer learning the ropes which meant that our scan went for an exceptionally long time, and coupled with the fact our little one was being cheeky and flipping around (which meant lots of heavy stomach pressing by the technician to get the right view) I was almost hallucinating by the end I needed to go to the bathroom so badly.

Discomfort aside, however, the more important news to convey here is that there is nothing quite like all-encompassing flood of LOVE you’re engulfed by when that first fuzzy white flash appears on the screen in front of you, and you realise you’re looking at your child.

A little beating heart. It suddenly all becomes gloriously real.

Now, over to you ::

I’d LOVE to hear from you in the comments — with insights AND any burning questions you may have. You can also find the second trimester wrap up right here.

And before you go, if you have any pregnant friends/ family members who you think would find this post valuable, go ahead and hit the buttons below to share the love. xo

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